Juice Reboot - Day 1 and 2

Day 1

Yesterday, I started a juice reboot.  It was a term coined from a documentary I watched called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  Great watch and I learned a lot of interesting information.  I have had several people who have done a 3 day juice cleanse and they talked about the difficulty of it.  I have decided to do a 10 day Reboot.  Yesterday wasn't bad.  I felt fine for the most part until the end of the day.  The funniest part was how I kept reaching for food out of habit and not hunger.  In the evening, I started to get a headache and the joints in my fingers and shoulders ached.  My hope is that this is the bad part and will go away soon.

Day 2

Today, the headache and joint pain remain.  I am still juice only, but I decided to tell people I was doing this.  I spoke with a co-worker who did it for 3 days and says that she feels great.  My understanding is that the ache is a detox of these areas of my body and they are healing.  This is what I am hoping.  Today was only juice and I have determined that I miss chewing.  I found a great support group on Facebook that doesn't let you beat yourself up when it doesn't go the perfect way.  Here is to tomorrow's juicing extravaganza! 

Pumpkins, Pools, and Rock and Roll

I was pleased to see I had posted in 2017, even if I don't really remember doing it.  How sad am I?

     But truly I am here to confess my new love, the one who will be the destroyer of my free time.  He has become my secret obsession.  He's like Voldemort and we can not speak his name, but I have come to find if I don't spend time with him each day, I get this nagging feeling that just won't go away.  What is this mystery that doesn't have a name.....

So basically, and in much less dramatic fashion, I have started guitar lessons.  I tried to teach myself, but it was quite a disaster, so I got myself a teacher.  It has been so much fun.  I returned to a community band, so I have my clarinet to practice too.  Sometimes I forget how much I love playing music until I get involved in it again.

We moved to Texas four years ago and I would love to tell you that this is my favorite place on Earth, but that would be a giant lie, so I'll refrain.  I've gotten more and more used to it and found things I genuinely enjoy about Texas, but the hardest part is when Fall comes.  In Houston there is Summer and the part that is not Summer, but since Summer lasts for about 9 months there isn't much else.  Houston likes to pretend it has a Fall by putting out pumpkins and artificial leaves that are orange, and yellow, but it hardly comes close to real Fall.  So this year in order to avoid the doldrums that happen to me this time I've year, I am going with the very adult, stick my fingers in my ears and shut my eyes.  I think it will be easier if I just acknowledge that it isn't happening hear and go with following the leaves again when I am retired.  Traveling the East Coast of the US during Fall is gorgeous.  It is when I fell in love with Vermont!  Who can beat a view like this.....

So in an effort to not lament the impending death of Fall, I am focusing on playing my guitar and playing in the pool.  We put in a pool last summer and it has been the greatest addition we have made to the house.  We go in it all the time and it should be in use come October, since it is usually about 80 degrees until close to Christmas.  I must admit I love the way it looks.

I've gotten back into writing, but nothing of significance and as I read through this entry I am reminded of my need to practice this on a regular basis too!

Only in January

I seem to have an affinity for posting in January and then slipping into oblivion for the remaining 11 months.  Blogging is like the perpetual epic fail of resolutions.  No, I didn't make a resolution to blog.  I just decided that all these thoughts I carry in my head should go somewhere and maybe it will take up less space.  I'm laughing that I am turning into my mother and talking to my thoughts.

So here I am because 2016 sucked!  I mean really sucked!  My mother died on January 18, 2016 after battling cancer.  It is strange being an only child and having both your parents pass away.  I feel lost and found at the same time.  I miss my mom incredibly, but I don't miss having to care for her.  Getting up at all hours of the night when she would start yelling for you because she was feeling lonely and wanted some company.  And at the same time, I miss being able to keep her company --  watching Golden Girls and talking about changes in the world.  My mother was so smart and a wonderful person with whom to bounce around ideas.  I now have time for the things I want to do.  With Noah being 9 almost 10, I have time.  I joined the community band.  I love it!  I forgot how much I loved it.   I have taken a bigger interest in knitting.  Primarily because it is portable.  For some reason, people are less offended when you are knitting as you talk.  I have friends who are amazing knitters.  I am not one of them, but I enjoy it anyway.  So with band and knitting, I am adding in writing.  I used to love to write.  Again, I have friends who are very skilled at this and I am mediocre, but I still love to do it.  I keep assuring myself that I will get better as time goes.

So welcome to 2017! Welcome to me in middle age!  Yikes!  Welcome to being a little selfish from time to time!  Welcome to new explorations!

Realizations

Have you ever spoken to someone about their problem or issue, trying to be a good listener and discovered in your conversation that it has turned around for you and become less about them and more about a seed idea about you?  I was talking with my husband this evening about how he was feeling about his job and in the process discovered that his job makes me angry.  My husband is in sales and is honestly never around.  I go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning because it is the only time that I have to myself since I spend every moment taking care of everyone by myself.  Right now he is home, but this is a rarity for us. He is usually at work.  Unfortunately, this is the price that has to be paid so that he can do the job he enjoys and I would not want anyone telling me I couldn't teach because it causes my spouse to have to work a little harder.  Until we had this conversation, I didn't realize how alone I was feeling.  Now what do about it remains a whole other question.  So for the moment I will sally forth and enjoy my life, but I did find the realization fascinating.

Memories

During this Christmas break, my husband's biological mother committed suicide and it gave me pause to think about death and how it impacts everyone.  Unfortunately death by suicide creates a set of wounds that do not always heal.  There are so many questions and feeling of how you could have done something more to help them, when in truth she suffered from depression and in the end that was her cause of death.  But it also helped me to see the gift that is given to us when someone passes.  Initially, you are lost and their is a feeling that something is missing, but over time it is filtered through a set of memories.  One of the greatest parts of these memories is that often times the good ones remains.

I think about my father.  He passed away when I was 21 and it was unexpected and devastating.  He had a sudden heart attack and was no longer with us.  But the gifts my father gave me live on in my memories.  I remember the last time we met for dinner and my father told me how proud he was of me.  I think of him each time I go to the movies and how much fun we had together.  I still love to gamble like we did at the horse races when I was little.  My father taught me how to drink alcohol, so I am not someone living with alcoholic behaviors.  I am grateful for these memories.  I still love eating breakfast in the park and listening to nature.  These are the gifts of life that live long after the person has gone.  I love that over time the petty little things that I did not enjoy about my father are gone and buried, but what lives are the joyful, loving memories.  Even now if all is quiet I can still hear his voice and remember how it felt to hug him.

Random Thought

Today I sat on the couch looking at Noah's foot and found myself fascinated by his ability to move his toes.  I  know this sounds strange, but when he was in the NICU I would sit and stare at him - not much else you can do when they are all wired up.  I would notice how he could not move his toes.  He could move is fingers, but not his toes.  I always wondered if this was how babies worked and since I only have one I just have to go with whatever he does as the way it is.  So now at 7 he can move his toes all by themselves.  I am still fascinated by this.  True his feet aren't as little as they once were, but still endlessly interesting.  And sadly a little stinky :)

A Year Already

So am I the only one who finds it hysterical that I wrote one post last year and that was it?  Seriously, I am a dork!  The funny part is I like writing although I do not consider myself particularly talented at it.  This year (like every year) I am hoping to write more.  The difference this time is that we have moved and most of the people I would run to share my ideas with did not move with me, so I figure blogging will have to be my new brain-dumping lifeline.  The truth is I have way to many thoughts and have to find an outlet for them or I start walking around my house talking to myself.  (Not that I don't do that anyway, but still)

So here is wishing everyone a Happy New Year (just a little late) and hopefully more thoughts from me.